Live music is community. A concert is “the record of an event,” a chance for us all to be together in one place, listening to the same sounds, breathing in the shared air, and creating an instantaneous neighborhood of commonality and diversity. The members of the Splimm Team have been going to summer concerts in the sun since before we could drive to them. Cannabis was always a tricky thing. While it’s no secret that we believe marijuana is best paired with some natural vitamin D, it was sometimes pretty risky lighting up a joint or even a little spoon in public. The times are changing, though, and Splimm is here to help you get the most out of your marijuana and music pairings.
*Social consumption is still illegal pretty much everywhere…for now…so if you can’t eat it in your house and then be driven to the venue please proceed with caution.*
Dress for success.
We’re going out! At night possibly! To see music! The Splimm Team loves getting dressed to the nines. Concerts on the grass are a chance to show off your personal style and let the world see that you can wear whatever you like and still love marijuana. The cannabis community is an inclusive one. In the everlasting words of A Tribe Called Quest, “if you came to the jam well then I’m glad you came.” The most important thing to bring to any event is your authentic self.
It’s okay to wear a seersucker suit to a Dead & Company show, and it’s okay to wear a Wonder Woman costume to a Talking Heads cover band concert held inside a topiary garden if that’s your thing (though we’ve only ever met the latter). We can make room for everyone. Want to wear khaki shorts with boat shoes and socks with lobsters on them to a Run the Jewels performance? Let us know so we don’t show up wearing the exact same thing.
Bring what you need.
Hopefully soon we’ll all live in places where we can walk into a regulated cannabis dispensary, look a human being in the eye, ask some questions, and get the right kind of marijuana in the right form. The federal government, however, would rather see us purchase from unregulated markets that generate no tax revenue, which helped create the open air drug bazaars that started with Shakedown Street for the Grateful Dead and continue even as that generation has moved away from buying three-gram eighths out of L.L. Bean backpacks.
Finding cannabis in a concert parking lot is dangerous for so many reasons. Your chance for arrest increases exponentially and you have no way to be sure of what your are purchasing. Splimm implores you, if possible, to come prepared so you can spend the hours before the show relaxing and elevating with your friends rather than picking the gravel out of your shoes and listening for anybody whispering the words “Strawberry Cough.”
We understand though. Sometimes your regular supply runs out. Sometimes she goes out of town. If you have a medical need but live in an area with no medical program you might have to cut corners and break laws just to be healthy; you might have to head to the lot. If you must, we suggest sticking to flower, because an informed cannabis connoisseur should be able to get a good idea of what they are buying based on empirical evidence.
It’s harder with food. There are lots of quality people selling edibles at outdoor festivals, but you’ll always be taking a risk. Could be you blow 20 bucks on something that doesn’t really work. Could be you end up smearing ice cold soda all over your face because it’s 95 degrees out with 80 percent humidity and that is the only cool liquid in reach. With flower, you have a little more consumer control: if it looks like decent cannabis and looks like an eighth, there’s a good chance it’s close to both. You have no way of knowing whether the person selling it to you is a cop, or if a cop is watching, so we advise you to get involved in the fight to end prohibition, because there is still a lot of work to be done.
Drink water, but be careful not to overdose.
Unlike cannabis, water in large quantities has proven to be fatal, so even if you do cut loose and smoke a little extra or eat too much, make sure you drink just enough water. Overdose on cannabis and you’ll get real sweaty, you’ll get kind of nervous, and you’ll most likely recover from eating too much marijuana quicker than from an ordinary alcohol hangover.
Water intoxication, or dilutional hyponatremia, is a serious thing. Please consume water responsibly.
Be mindful of the people around you and set an example for how to enjoy cannabis respectfully.
You may find yourself watching Phish at a minor league baseball stadium. You may find yourself listening to Wilco in an apple orchard. You might find some children in close proximity. You may ask yourself “are these my unruly children?” and the answer may be yes. Whether they are your offspring or not, it is especially important that we demonstrate the right kind of consumption for future generations. It is up to us conscious connoisseurs to set an example as cannabis moves out of the basement, so please don’t make an ass out of yourself (though we at Splimm have found this to be unlikely when cannabis is the only substance being used).
Try to remember that one good time is as good as another. Take only enough space to dance or sing or twirl or be the hype man, but not so much that everyone else can’t enjoy the show along with you. This applies to the weed as well. It sounds crazy to us, but some people do not like the smell of cannabis! The proliferation of the modern vape pen has made it possible to partake in public discreetly, without our olfactory hues offending anyone nearby. Not only are vape pens easy to conceal, they look super classy and you can imagine you’re drawing from a jade cigarette holder on the banks of the Seine, except cannabis is not toxic like cigarettes.
If you see someone curled up underneath a tree with a shirt pulled over their head, don’t stand over them and say “give me half of what he had.”
Sometimes people take too much. They don’t always mean to. If you see a fellow human in distress make sure someone is taking care of them, and if they appear to be alone, try to get a health care provider before you bring in the law enforcement. We have to look out for each other. It’s wrong to stand over them and laugh, even if you think they will most likely be fine.
No matter how great the rest of the night was, no matter what songs were played or what spiritual breakthroughs were achieved, 20 years later the time you stood over their buddy and said “give me half of what he had” will be all anyone remembers about that concert. Plus you don’t know what that person ate. You might not be able to handle half that edible. You don’t know, okay.
Be prepared for Jay-Z to come out as a surprise performer.
Regardless of the venue and artist, we feel it’s in everyone’s best interest to learn the lyrics to J-Hova’s (secrectly feminist?) “99 Problems.” We went to a concert once where Jay-Z was the surprise performer, and we didn’t know the lyrics and felt a little uncool. Everyone around us knew them. This particular song is also a good introduction to your search and seizure rights if you get pulled over on the way home from the concert for being young and black and with your hat real low.
Of course, if we all come together to end cannabis prohibition, it’ll be one less reason for the cops to stop anybody.